www.love2flirt.co.uk UK Dating Blog

Fraudalent E-mails

A number of our members have reported nuisance e-mails from foreign nationals, most commonly asking for money and so on.

To combat this we have implemented a few measures to make our site both safer and more enjoyable for our members

1) We will only accept UK members with a valid UK postcode

2) In order to contact other members users must pay an upgrade fee of £4.99 (this does not apply to those that signed up under our free membership offer)

It is hoped this should end this unfortunate matter and make a better dating site for us all.  Please remember never to give out your personal details including e-mail on our site unless you know the person. 

Love2flirt Dating has a fully featured advanced inbox/outbox e-mail system, a forum and a chatroom so you can chat within the boundries of our site without disclosing personal details.  All e-mails are fully confidential and cannot be read by either ourselves or outside parties.  Please see our privacy policy for further details.

Three Keys to Wonderful Dating Experience

Forget the flowers and the scent. To improve your chances of both finding a date and then having a really wonderful dating experience, probably here are three key dating tips that start at home. .

- Be Positive

Remaining positive has a number of benefits. First of all it helps you to remain focused on your goal of finding a partner to share your life. Secondly it portrays to your date how you feel about yourself, the date and the future. Thirdly, it allows you to continue dating even if the last date didn’t proceed all that well. The most important of all dating tips - being positive reminds you that there are six billion people on this planet so you need to remember that there is at least one person for you out there.

- Maintain a Good Attitude

Your attitude is an important ingredient in your dating success. Whether you are looking for love online or in the physical world, your attitude is one of the most forgotten dating tips. Your attitude about how you treat yourself and others to treat you permeates through everything you do. It doesn't matter if you are writing an email, talking over the phone or on a date at a local coffee house, who you are and your attitude speaks volumes to your potential mate.

- Be Yourself

To be yourself is one of easiest, yet hardest, dating tips to apply. Being yourself is critical to ensuring that you give yourself every possible chance to meet your life partner. Being yourself means not pretending to be something you are not and being confident enough to be completely honest and genuine with your date. Honesty is the key to forming lasting relationships and no relationship should start based on a bed of lies and half truths. And you’ll have a much more pleasant evening on your date too!

If you have done that, you also have to understand that every date is unique. Every potential mate is unique. And your expectations are unique. Judge each situation with merit and follow your heart and your instinct. Finding your ideal mate is not impossible but it does take a little work. Following a few straightforward dating tips can help you navigate the road to love success.

Oh sure, you might only get one response, but that person will be exactly what you’re looking for. Do you realize how hard it would be for you to find this person in singles bars on Friday nights? Don’t try to be a crowd pleaser. Please yourself...!!!

Andy Michael, a columnist of dating Website. He likes to share his real-world, concrete secrets to finding the man or woman of your dreams. He revealed his techniques that have worked for thousands of happy, formerly single people! Visit his dating secrets Website at http://www.datingwithoutstress.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/

Site Update

Hi Everyone

Our site now includes a brand new chat room and members forum.

Some members have reported problems with their e-mail.  This has now been resolved - the issue was caused by a number of spammers on our network which have now been deleted (log into your account and view our forum for more information on this)

Thanks

Love2flirt

Win Bridget Jones 2 Edge of Reason on DVD

Thank You to Everyone that Entered.  The competiton is now closed.  The winner will be announced within the next 24 hours and published here.

We will be running more comptitions in the near future.  Please visit

http://www.love2flirt.co.uk/competition.asp

Thanks

The Love2flirt Team

Chat to Ally Ochs Relationship Expert

About Allie:

 

Allie, relationship expert, coach, speaker and author of 'Are You Fit To Love?' has been through the "school of hard knocks" personally and vicariously as a coach for the world's largest relationship agency. This background coupled with studies in psychology and sociology and years of relationship research afford Allie a refreshing mix of savvy and empathy. Her vision transforms every relationship.

She has appeared on TV and Radio shows and was one of the signing authors at the American Book Expo 2004 in Chicago. Her book has received the Honorable Mention at the 2004 USA Best Book Awards and an excellent 5 star review from Midwest Book Review.

Allie has spoken in front of private, corporate clients and at business functions and is published in numerous magazines and newsletter.

___________________________________________________________________________

If you require any dating or relationship advice then please leave a comment to speak to Ally.  You do not need to leave your real name if you do not wish though please include a valid e-mail address as she may use this to respond to you.

Thanks

The Love2flirt Dating team :)

Loving without losing yourself

You are in love and this time it is different. You are prepared to do anything to make it last. To prevent this ship from sinking you work hard to steer this relationship into a safe harbor. In the process you lose yourself and your romantic relationship becomes all-consuming!

Kyra fell head-over-heels for Dan and went out of her way to create a wonderful relationship. She found herself at hockey games, at parties with his friends and on vacations with his family. At home, things were not much different. Kyra cooked his favorite meals, kept house the way he wanted and listened to music of his choice. On Dan’s advice, she cut her hair short, wore less make-up and a conservative wardrobe. For Dan, this relationship was perfect. She had adapted to his lifestyle, defended his views and even began to talk like him. Kyra’s friends witnessed her change from a spirited and happy woman to a subdued and pleasing personality. This relationship had sucked the life out of Kyra, yet she was the last to notice.

 

While compromise in a relationship is necessary, denying the core of who you are is not. When you finally realize that an all-consuming relationship is depleting you, there will be nothing left but resentment. It will be difficult to reclaim yourself while remaining in that same relationship. The outcome of such a relationship is usually a heart-breaking crisis, with no one but you to blame.

 

The opposite of an all-consuming relationship is a half-hearted relationship. In this relationship one or both withhold affection until the evidence is in that the other is hooked. I love you, if you love me first has become a common trend. Fearing that you will give more love than you receive, you put your partner on probation. You judge according to your expectations and keep track of his or her scores. The higher the scores, the more you are willing to love. This conditional view creates tremendous emotional insecurity.

 

All-consuming or halfhearted relationships are unhealthy and both types are guided by fear. In an all-consuming relationship, fear of not being loved is the driving force. In a halfhearted relationship, fear of being hurt prevents you from knocking down protective walls.To you love wholeheartedly without losing yourself requires a very different perspective of relationships. Even though you know that relationships require work, deep down you cling to a sweet illusion that meeting the right person is all it takes. You will then take off on your magic carpet ride. Think again! Soon that magic rug will be pulled from underneath you.

 

If you long for a partner who is wholeheartedly behind you, ask yourself, are you the same partner? Do you give what you seek in your relationship? Ironically, many lack the qualities they seek in their partners. Listen to your heart and when it feels right, feel the fear and love anyway. Love without hesitation and with all you heart. Don’t let your fear of rejection or getting hurt kill your desires or steal your dreams. You may have stared in the face of love before. Maybe you “chickened-out.” Next time, don’t be a chicken!

 

Love is choice and if you choose it wholeheartedly, you are never going to lose it. Love teaches you to become a better human being. Restore your faith in love and become emotionally available to each other. Put your fears and your past behind you. Become lovable by being loving. Learn to trust by trusting yourself. Here is the number one reason for losing yourself in a relationship: Your belief that love is something you either deserve or not! This misguided belief leads you to do almost anything to get love and even more to hold onto it:

 

• You modify your identity to gain      approval from your partner.
• You hold back intimacy to protect      yourself.
• You have a need to manipulate your      partner.

 

If you can believe that there is nothing you have to be or do to earn love, you will accept that:

 

• You can be loved even if you are      not perfect
• You can be loved while keeping      your course in life
• You can be loved without getting      lost in love

 

Love is the most powerful human lesson you will ever learn. It is a purposeful interdependence through which you become so much more than on your own. Love is not something to be found, rather it is in you to share. Don’t turn your back on love every time it touches you, because when you give up on love you give up on yourself.

 

© 2005 Allie Ochs is a speaker, relationship coach and author of: Are You Fit To Love? Her book has received the honorable mention at the USA 2004 Best Book Awards. She has appeared on TV, Radio and is published in numerous magazines and newsletters. To order her book or take the Fit 2 Love! Test visit her website www.fit2love.com. For Free Relationship/Dating Advice e-mail: ask

allie@fit2love.com

 

Wow, Grandma Is Dating!

When

Lena, 52, began dating, her son, Paul, joined the same dating site. Together, mother and son set out to find love.

Lena’s family was concerned for Lena. After 30 years of marriage, she was very vulnerable. What did she know about dating or sexually transmitted diseases?

Lena knew one thing: love does not have a best-before date.

Lena is one of many fiery over 50 dames with lots of life. The idea of dating put a sparkle into her eyes. After a few unproductive “let’s meet for coffee” dates, she struck gold! Ryan, whom she met in her doctor’s waiting room, was everything she hoped for. A widower without children, Ryan was like a breath of fresh air. He put romance and zest into her life. They fell madly in love and lived happily ever after.

This is a dating dream come true for most older, single women. Today, dating over 50 is just as common as dating at a younger age. However, there are profound differences in life circumstances and experiences. Unfortunately, not all dating adventures of older singles have happy endings. Dating at a mature age comes with baggage. Ex wives, stepchildren, step-grandchildren, in-laws, lifestyles or commitments, just to name a few. This baggage prevents many singles from creating close relationships. Yet, there are good news for all mature singles, who have not found their “one and only”:

As a mature person you have qualities such compassion, integrity, and wisdom, all of which nurture rewarding relationships. Use exactly those qualities to find love and avoid falling victim to clever-minded dating strategies. Successful relationships are based on three principles: mutual respect, moral responsibility and authenticity. These are also common-sense dating principles.

1. Mutual Respect: Others are      just as valuable as you

Our generation has made history as ambassadors of a “what’s-in-it-for-me” society. Much of the dating advice today supports this attitude. Just make your wish list and check it against your date. While dating can be fun, for most 50 plus singles it is about finding a life-mate. When you date, treat him with respect. Be on time and be interested. If there is mutual attraction, share your likes and dislikes openly. Don’t get lost in keeping score. Respect that a first date is a fishing trip to determine if there is enough interest for a second date. By all means give each other a chance. If you are not interested, don’t lead him on. You are mature and don’t need a black book filled admirers. If you like him, but the feeling is not mutual, make it easy to call the quits. Treat your date the way you would want to be treated.

2. Moral Responsibility: You are always morally responsible to
those with whom you have a relationship

This begs the question as to when a relationship begins. You have graduated from the coffee shop to seeing a movie. He wined and dinned you and now invites you to a barbeque with friends. While this is not a marriage proposal, it is nevertheless personal. No red flags have popped up yet and you accept the invitation. This has the potential for a relationship. Now is the time to get to know him instead of looking over the shoulder for other suitors. Here is why: often relationships between dating singles never develop because they are occupied with multiple dates. Sleeping with multiple dates is morally irresponsible to each one. Be as responsible as you would be to your best friend, because he may be that some day.

3. Authenticity: Love only happens when you are real

Have you ever found yourself laughing simply because everyone else did? Told someone had a fabulous time when you didn’t or said: “I love you” when you didn’t mean it? Did you ever do something inconsistent with your true self just to please someone or get what you wanted? Of course we all have. We have lost the bravery to be real! For many there is quite a gap between the person inside and the person we present to the world. In the competitive world of dating misrepresentation is at an all time high.

If you seek love, forget about how to make him fall in love with you. Forget about Mars and Venus, in the real world we are all human beings first, men and women second. Most singles over 50 want to love and belong. Wear what makes you feel like a million dollar babe, not what you think impresses him. While you are not to disclose your sexual history on a first date, be straightforward on topics that you are comfortable with. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Be authentic and be honest! Don’t waste your precious time pretending to be what you are not. You may not land many second dates, but at this stage it is about quality, not quantity. Love only happens when you are real.

These three universal principles are no-fail dating concepts that keep you sane and on the road to love. To boost your dating success, Ivana Trump is adding a bonus for all the fabulous and mature women. In her new TV show she introduces older women to younger men. Sounds like the Demi Moore style of dating is gaining popularity. With quite a few older men dating much younger women, Ivana is orchestrating a balancing act. Love has no boundaries, is ageless and keeps you young. Maybe Ivana’s reality show will get you in the groove.

 

© 2005 Allie Ochs, Relationship Expert, Coach, Speaker and the Author of “Are You Fit To Love?” ISBN 0-9720227-9-1. Her articles are published in numerous magazines and newsletters. She has appeared on radio and TV. To order her book or to take the Fit 2 Love! Test visit her website at www.fit2love.com. For FREE relationship/dating advice e-mail: askallie@fit2love.com

Finding Compatible E-Dates

In the world of online dating misrepresentation is at an all time high. Janice, a fitness enthusiast, was excited about her e-mail exchange with Rob. He seemed to share her interest in fitness and the outdoors. They wrote about mountain biking, skiing and golfing. Rob suggested an interest in these activities, but never mentioned once having engaged in any of them.

When Janice and Rob met it became apparent that he was not a fitness or outdoors enthusiast. In real life he also looked much older than in the picture that accompanied his online profile. He had misrepresented himself to impress Janice. Needless to say, they parted after their first face-to-face encounter with mixed feelings. Discovering incompatibility in e-mail exchanges becomes much easier if you follow these tips:

BE TRUTHFUL in your own description. While mingling among singles in a highly competitive environment you may be tempted to paint your very best picture. Putting your best foot forward does not mean inflating your image or exaggerating in your profile. The key to finding a compatible love is being authentic instead of pretending to be what you are not. Being real may not guarantee a huge number of online dates, but if you are serious about, love the bottom line is quality, not quantity. To find a like-minded date, don’t play games. When your profile rings true, you will probably attract someone who is also truthful.

DIG DEEPER once you have begun your email exchange. Ask questions about his or her life, values, beliefs, hobbies, likes and dislikes. Rephrase your questions in subsequent e-mails and compare the answers. Continue to go back to the person’s profile and look for discrepancies. For example, to verify a person’s age, ask when they either left high school or graduated from university. To find out if he or she really loves hiking, ask where they usually hike. To check employment, ask what he or she does during a regular workday and if they enjoy their work. Aaron believed he was e-mailing the kindest girl until he asked Kyra about her relationship with her sister. Kyra electronically flew off the handle calling her sister names. Aaron new then that he did not like the other Kyra he had just been exposed to. The only thing you risk by asking questions is that your new e-mail friend will drop “out of the loop.”

BRING UP ISSUES that are important to you. If one of your priorities is family, talk about your respective families. It won’t take long to find out if this is a shared priority. If you love traveling, raise this topic to see if there is excitement or if he or she has even boarded a plane. Perhaps education, knowledge or current issues are of great interest to you. In that case, raise these matters in your dialogue to probe his or her awareness and interest. A healthy lifestyle might be important to you. Talk about it! There is no point in involving yourself with someone with no interest in a healthy lifestyle. Whatever your values, beliefs or worldviews, use the e-mail exchange to reflect on these issues. Read between the lines. We all have a tendency to read or see things we like, even when they are not there. This practice will help you to determine compatibility early in the game. Shared values are important ingredients for long-term commitment.

REMEMBER the reason why you are meeting someone online. If you just want to increase your circle of friends, by all means have fun and meet everyone. If you are searching for the love of your life, be selective and dig deeper. Don’t waste each other’s time. Far too many singles have depleted their dating energy by e-mailing all night long with people who they would never introduce to their parents. Be smart and cut to the chase!

 

© 2005 Allie Ochs, Relationship Expert, Coach, Speaker and the Author of “Are You Fit To Love?” ISBN 0-9720227-9-1. Her articles are published in numerous magazines and newsletters. She has appeared on radio and TV. To order her book or to take the Fit 2 Love! Test visit her website at www.fit2love.com. For FREE relationship/dating advice e-mail: askallie@fit2love.com

Are You Fit to Love?

Are You Fit To Love?

is the most important question you’ll ever ask yourself. Our relationships are extremely important. Yet, often they are the cause of pain and struggle. Climbing divorce rates and more singles seeking love are proof that our attitudes are counterproductive.

Our expectations have become highly unrealistic. Rarely do we look in the mirror and ask: Am I fit to love? It is time we made a point of building long-term relationship success based on the strength of our characters, instead of clever-minded relationship strategies.

Great relationships require great characters. Becoming fit to love is a powerful wake-up call for the brave. It will dramatically improve our relationships or our chances of finding love. People in exceptional relationships have one thing in common: they are fit to love. At the heart of all exceptional relationships are three universal principles: mutual respect, moral responsibility and authenticity and here is what it means:

Mutual Respect: Your partner is just as important as you.

Our partner’s dreams and hopes are as important as our own. Given that our generation has made history as ambassadors of our “me first” society, we are more concerned with getting what we want. Bill spends every weekend at the golf course while his wife, Jane, looks after their two small children. Extra money from their already tight budget is spent on Bill’s hobby. Stuck at home with toddlers, Jane has little freedom to do or buy anything special. Bill seems completely aloof to the fact that he is disrespectful.

Relationship conflicts arise because of different perspectives. Lovers argue over who is right, instead solving the issue in their mutual best interest. Love and respect take a backseat and the relationship deteriorates. This dangerous game is the reason why many relationships fail, when they shouldn’t. Instead of trying to change each other or putting our needs first, we must realize that our partner is just as important.

Moral Responsibility: You are always morally responsible to
those with whom you have relationships.

We seek self-fulfillment at any cost, even at the cost of others. Even though we are not responsible for our partner’s happiness, we are responsible for his or her well-being. Love is a moral responsibility to another person and everything we think, say or do affects those we love.

Jennifer had lunch with her friend Sally. She could barley wait to share the details about her latest affair. Sally listened in awe as Jennifer blamed her so-called inattentive husband, Paul. It was a strange twist of fate that Paul sat behind the flower-decorated lattice wall listening to every word his wife said. From here on life took a different turn. Jennifer had deceived her husband Paul and lost the respect of Sally.

In our quest for better relationships, we must make our relationship a priority. We must focus on our relationship not elsewhere.

 

Authenticity: True love only happens when you are real

Have you ever found yourself laughing simply because everyone else did? Agreed with your partner’s opinion even though you didn’t share it or said: “I love you” when you didn’t mean it. Did you ever do something inconsistent with your true self just to please someone or to get what you wanted? Of course we all have. We have lost the bravery to be real!

For many there is quite a gap between the inside and the person they present to the world. How about Toni, the dad who rents a Porsche to impress his date, while being delinquent in child support. Debby spends every Sunday at Grant’s parents but resents it. To keep the peace, she refrains from claiming some of these Sundays on her terms.

To be validated we often compromise who we are. Conditioned by our environment we have become products of the culture we live in. No matter how good we are at playing roles eventually our truth emerges. Being fit to love means being real. When we are authentic our relationships become real and we never have to doubt them.

Regardless of the state of our relationships or how unsuccessfully we have tried to find love we have the power to radically change today. Mutual respect, moral responsibility and authenticity are key to exceptional relationships. People in exceptional relationships are fit to love and in the process they reap some profound rewards:

• They live much happier lives
• They cope far better with stress
• They have better sex more often
• They laugh more often and have more fun
• They are healthier and live longer
• They are more optimistic
• They feel more secure and stable

No wonder we envy these people. In times like these, laced with tremendous uncertainty their relationships are like rock-solid anchors. Mahatma Gandhi said: “A coward is incapable of exhibiting love; it is the prerogative of the brave”. Let’s be brave!

 

© 2005 Allie Ochs, Relationship Expert, Coach, Speaker and the Author of “Are You Fit To Love?” ISBN 0-9720227-9-1. Her articles are published in numerous magazines and newsletters. She has appeared on radio and TV. To order her book or to take the Fit 2 Love! Test visit her website at www.fit2love.com. For FREE relationship/dating advice e-mail: askallie@fit2love.com

Free Dating: The real cost of 'free dating'

Nearly every dating site on the internet claims to offer free dating. Running a quick search on Google for the phrase 'free dating' returns some one and half million results!

Yet is the consumer being mislead? What are the true costs of free dating?

The fact is there is rarely any such thing. Free dating often means the ability to post a profile and recieve messages from members but here the word 'free' stops. If a member wishes to contact other members, read messages and use additional features other than merely posting a profile they must 'upgrade' their account and this of course comes at a cost.

Is the consumer being mislead? In a way yes. These sites are not really offering free dating, rather the ability to post a profile - if you actually want to use the dating service, that is interact with other members, then you must pay an 'upgrade fee'.

At the same time however it is important to remember the old saying that nothing in life comes free. For the website owner running, maintaining and advertising a dating site costs money and often lots of it. Some of the top dating sites are paying nearly £0.70 per click to advertise their sites - these clicks can quickly add up and lead to spiraling costs. To cover these costs they must therefore introduce some sort of subscription fee. The alternative of course is to offer a free dating site supported by advertising. Unfortunatley the advertising revenue derived from these sites is often far below costs. The consumer ends up suffering in terms of obtrusive advertisng banners or from a sub standard dating system.

The answer then is that there is no such thing as 'free dating'. That is not to say however the consumer should not shop around. With a vast choice of online dating sites singles are in a good positon to seek out the best deal. Often they can benefit from trial free offers or some sites even offer completely free membership to a specific type of user. Remember you always get what you pay for in life and investing in a good quality dating service or a number of dating services is truely worth the small financial outlay if it leads to finding that special someone.

This article was written and produced by Love2flirt Dating